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Put more energy into letting your spouse know that s/he is attractive by flirting.
Explore and experiment until you know exactly what turns you on. Talk openly about your preferences As you begin to figure out what you like and don't like, you have to commit to discussing it openly and specifically with your spouse. Unless you address this directly, you aren't going to get very far. For example, it isn't enough to tell your partner, "I would prefer we ‘make love' rather than ‘have sex'." You need to be able to put into action-oriented terms what you mean by "making love." For instance, you might say, "To me, it feels like we are making love when we spend more time kissing and keep our eyes open," or "When you touch my hair or touch me lightly on my face, it feels more tender and that makes me feel as if we're making love." It might feel strange at first to be this specific about your sexual encounters, but your partner won't understand your needs unless you are. If this is uncomfortable for you, consider reading an "improve your sex life" self-help book together at night. The benefits of being in shape extend far beyond your improved sex life.Since you are the one reading this, I am going to strongly suggest that it is you who has to take charge of changing things.You need to start to figure out the steps you ought to take to feel more passion and desire. If you don't, you are missing out on one of life's greatest joys, feeling truly intimate with the person you love. Forget about doing this strictly for your partner or the marriage, do it for you! Start by telling your spouse that you understand why s/he has been unhappy with your love life and that you are going to do something about it.You might also consider taking a drug such as Viagra, which will help you have and maintain an erection.
I know it is really difficult for a man to admit he is worried about low sexual desire and even more difficult to ask for help in this area. You need to put your pride aside and get your sex life/marriage back on track. But part of the healing that must take place between the two of you involves your active participation in things that will help your partner feel better.This post offers 11 tips for the spouse whose desire for sex has seemingly vanished.